Tesla Still Can't Harvest Lightning

February 26, 2015 // Tagged in: technology, satire

Today, in a shocking moment at a Tesla press conference Elon Musk, CEO of the electric car manufacturer, admits "No, we don't know how to harvest lightning yet."

In the wake of being named Consumer Reports top overall car for a second year in a row, investors were expecting to hear some incredible news from the only car company that has actually been innovating in the past five years. Rumors had begun to spread that Musk has been working on a new "Model L" Tesla that runs entirely on harvested lightning.

Musk is known to be very engineering and science specific at press conferences, so when he dropped the technical bomb at the press conference, it took the crowd a minute to really understand what he said:

Are you kidding? Lightning is wildly unpredictable and unreliable.

Analysts later broke apart his statement, and determined that "unpredictable" and "unreliable" are both words that are scary to hear from a CEO.

Tesla is expected to simply continue to produce the highest quality, safest, and longest range electric cars on the market - a move that makes investors wary of the company.